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True Stories on Difficult Conversations and Difficult Crossings

Today I’ve got two quick reviews of two nonfiction books I read in February, one about the difficult conversations we need to have with each other, and another about the difficulty of living, working, and crossing the Mexican-American border. Let’s dive in!

Tell Me More by Kelly Corrigan

Tell Me More is a collection of “stories about the 12 hardest things I’m learning to say.” Each piece in the collection focuses on a phrase or conversation – Yes, No, I Don’t Know, Good Enough, I Love You – and the ways in which Corrigan has learned how or why those conversations can make our lives and relationships better. Without knowing it when I picked it up, I soon learned that Tell Me More is also a memoir about grief – many of the essays were written in the wake of her father’s death and the death of a close friend, Liz.

One of the many things I loved about this collection is how specific and funny Corrigan’s writing was. She’s writing about fairly universal conversations, but she’s magnificent at picking out the particular details of her life in way that makes you feel like you’re conversing with a friend, not engaging in a big conversation. Many of the essays made me laugh out loud.

At the same time, the book (like life) was punctuated by a number of remarkably touching or outright sad stories and essays. There’s one near the end, framed as a letter to Liz written a year and a half after her death, that was an absolute gut punch for me. I started tearing up just a few paragraphs in and, by the end, was outright sobbing. I loved that I could go from laughing to tears within the span of a few pages, and that every emotional response felt earned rather than situational. I can’t recommend this one enough.

The Line Becomes a River by Francisco Cantú

The Line Becomes a River is a memoir about the Mexican-American border – what it’s like to study it, work along it, and see others struggle with lives on either side of it. Francisco Cantú, the grandson of a Mexican immigrant, studied international relations, learning about the border through books on history and political theory. After graduation, he wanted to get a better idea of the realities of the border, so he joined the Border Patrol as an agent.

I was really excited about this book, but ended up being not entirely satisfied with the reading experience because it felt like Cantú couldn’t find the narrative to hold the story together. The first two sections have some interesting moments, but they’re told in a lot of vignettes and so don’t have a lot storytelling momentum, which was hard for me.

I was much more engaged with the third section of the book, when Cantú steps away from his own experience to share the story of a co-worker, José, who leaves the United States to visit his dying mother and then can’t return because he was here illegally. That story was specific and, interestingly, helped me learn more about Cantú than the sections in which he focused on himself. I liked this one, but didn’t love it enough to universally recommend it.

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  • Sarah's Book Shelves March 15, 2018, 6:25 am

    I loved Tell Me More and there’s definitely a ton about grief in there. She did have me laughing and tearing up…which is always a good sign for me.

    I had Line Becomes a River on my TBR, but I’ll probably not jump on it quite as quickly now.

    Thanks for your thoughts!

    • Kim March 24, 2018, 10:38 am

      I appreciated the grief aspects of Tell Me More, they were really touching and honest. Definitely hit me in the feels 🙂

  • bermudaonion (Kathy) March 15, 2018, 8:21 am

    I loved Tell Me More too – parts of it really hit home. I listened to it and cried as well.

  • Amanda March 15, 2018, 10:51 am

    I’ve been curious about Tell Me More. I’m realizing I need to just make a whole GR shelf for books about grief to read when I’m ready. Now I just need to figure out how I’ll know when I’m ready.

    • Kim March 24, 2018, 10:39 am

      I should probably be making a virtual shelf… but instead I just keep buying books on grief and letting them stack up. It’s hard to know when it’s time, for sure.

  • Drew March 15, 2018, 11:10 am

    I sure appreciate your book reviews! Been thinking about “Tell Me More”, i.e. Can I take another book on grief? Is there anything fresh to be said? — And yes, it seems this one is worth pursuing. Thank you!

    • Kim March 24, 2018, 10:41 am

      I think so! Grief isn’t really the point of the book, but it sort of slides into many of the different pieces in some good ways. It’s very particular to Corrigan’s experience, which I appreciated — it felt personal, rather than prescriptive, if that makes any sense.

  • iliana March 15, 2018, 3:58 pm

    Oh the Corrigan book sounds amazing. Thank you for such a lovely review and it is one I really would like to read. The Cantu book interests me too given that I live in Texas and the issue of immigration is such a hot topic here. Of course being an immigrant myself I have a lot of sympathy for those leaving their homes in hopes of a better life but it would be interesting to hear from the perspective of a border agent and what they’ve experienced.

    • Kim March 24, 2018, 10:41 am

      Yes, I think the Cantu book would be a great read for you!

  • Melissa F. March 16, 2018, 7:36 pm

    Love Kelly Corrigan but haven’t gotten to this one yet. It’s high on the list. Have you read her others? They’re fantastic.

    • Kim March 24, 2018, 10:42 am

      I have not, but now I want to!

  • susan March 20, 2018, 5:24 pm

    I’d like to read Tell Me More — it sounds helpful and cathartic and wise. I think I could use it. thx I’ll look for it.